5 Tips for Managing Stress Around Christmas When You’re Healing From Trauma

For many people, Christmas is painted as a cozy, joyful gathering — good food, laughter, and connection. But for those healing from trauma, Christmas often brings a complicated mix of emotions. There can be family expectations, travel stress, emotional labor, awkward conversations, overstimulation, and unspoken roles inside the family system. All of this can intensify Christmas stress and quietly impact holiday mental health in ways that don’t always get talked about.

If you find yourself dreading the holiday while also feeling guilty for not being more “grateful,” you are not alone. There are compassionate, therapist-approved ways to navigate coping with family during holidays while protecting your nervous system and your peace.

Tip #1: Set Expectations Ahead of Time

One of the most powerful ways to reduce holiday stress is deciding in advance what you’re willing — and unwilling — to participate in.

This might look like:

• Choosing how long you’ll stay

• Deciding which conversations you won’t engage in

• Letting yourself skip traditions that feel overwhelming

Setting expectations isn’t about being difficult; it’s about creating emotional safety. When you know your limits ahead of time, your body can settle because it doesn’t have to stay on high alert waiting for the next demand.

A gentle mindset shift: You’re not responsible for managing everyone else’s emotions. You’re allowed to choose peace.

Tip #2: Have a Grounding Strategy

When holiday mental health gets challenged, it’s often because the nervous system is overwhelmed. Having a simple grounding plan gives your body a way back to safety.

Try:

• Slow, deep breaths with a longer exhale

• Stepping outside for fresh air or a quick reset

• Quietly naming five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear

These tools help you stay present instead of getting pulled into old survival responses. They’re small, but powerful ways of coping with family during holidays when things get overstimulating or emotionally charged.

Tip #3: Limit Over-Commitment

People-pleasing is often a trauma response, not a personality trait. And during the holidays, it can silently drive burnout.

You do not have to:

• Attend every gathering

• Cook everything

• Be available to everyone

Overcommitting might look like kindness on the outside, but it often fuels exhaustion and resentment on the inside. Protecting your holiday mental health sometimes means choosing less, even when it feels uncomfortable.

A helpful reframe: Rest is not selfish. It is regulation.

Tip #4: Prepare for Emotional Triggers

Old family patterns have a way of resurfacing quickly. A tone of voice, a familiar comment, or a certain dynamic can bring up feelings that feel bigger than the moment.

This does not mean you’re “failing” or “being too sensitive.” It means your body remembers.

Preparing might look like:

• Naming your most common triggers ahead of time

• Creating an exit plan if you feel overwhelmed

• Giving yourself permission to disengage from harmful dynamics

This kind of preparation turns Christmas stress into something more manageable and gives you more control while coping with family during holidays.

Tip #5: Prioritize Rest Before and After

One of the most overlooked parts of holiday mental health is recovery time.

If you can, build in:

• Slower mornings before gatherings

• Decompression time after events

• Gentle routines that help you come back to yourself

Rest isn’t something you “earn” after surviving the holiday. It’s something that protects your nervous system so the holiday doesn’t derail your energy, mood, or routines.

Another healing mindset shift: You don’t need to push through pain to prove your worth.

If holiday stress feels overwhelming or you’re tired of white-knuckling your way through the holidays, you deserve more support. Therapy can help you create safer boundaries, regulate anxiety, and untangle the emotional weight of coping with family during holidays.

If you’d like personalized support before the season gets even busier, I invite you to schedule a therapy consultation. You don’t have to navigate family dynamics, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm by yourself this year. Healing is allowed to feel supported.

Michelle Spurgeon is a licensed therapist supporting clients in Dallas, Texas, and virtual EMDR therapy in Texas, Florida, Louisiana, and Virginia. She specializes in relational trauma, anxiety, and divorce and uses evidence-based treatments like EMDR to help clients feel unstuck and steady again. Michelle provides EMDR Intensives for clients or therapists wanting extended session time to work towards relief. She is LCSW Supervisor in Texas helping LMSW professionals earn their clinical license. At Steady Healing, she is committed to providing compassionate, expert care both in-person in Dallas and online for clients across Texas, Florida, Louisiana, and Virginia.