Taking Care of Yourself During the Holidays After Divorce: Tips for Coparenting, Healing, and Finding Peace

Why the Holidays Feel Especially Hard After Divorce

The holidays are not something to wing or white-knuckle your way through after a divorce. Even for the most resilient people, this season can stir up complex emotions. Traditions shift, family structures change, and the familiar rhythm of togetherness may feel off-balance. Whether you’re navigating shared parenting schedules, feeling the quiet of an empty house, or sitting with mixed emotions around family gatherings, it’s normal for this time of year to feel tender.

The first few years after divorce are often the hardest. You’re learning how to move through the holidays in a new way—one that may not look or feel the same as before, but that can still hold meaning, peace, and even joy.

Focusing on What’s in Your Control During the Holidays

There are many parts of this season that may be outside your control. You may not get to decide which days you spend with your children, how your ex chooses to celebrate, feelings that arise, or how family members respond to your new reality.

And yet, there are many things within your influence—things that can help you care for yourself, protect your peace, and build moments of stability amid the change. The key is gently shifting your focus from what’s beyond your control to what is within reach. And recognizing that you are practicing celebrating the holidays after the life change- there may be some bobbles along the way, and it may get smoother as you have more years experience.

Practical Tips for Divorced People During the Holidays

Here are some practical and compassionate ways to care for yourself this holiday season:

• Set realistic expectations. The holidays will likely look different now—and that’s okay. Letting go of “how it used to be” makes space to create new, meaningful traditions that fit your life as it is today. You may not be able to attend all the holiday events or parties with your kids that you would have in years past, and yet you can still create wonderful holiday memories with them.

• Make a plan. Having a plan (for where you’ll be, who you’ll spend time with, and how you’ll handle emotional triggers) can reduce stress. If you’re co-parenting, communicate early about schedules and boundaries to avoid last-minute conflicts. You likely have court orders that create a plan for your holidays, and sometimes there is room for flexibility. What some divorced families do for the holidays, may not be what works for your divorced family. That’s ok- you don’t have to force it.

• Honor your emotions. Grief, sadness, relief, or even guilt—whatever shows up deserves acknowledgment. Try not to judge your emotions; they are simply information about what you’ve lost and what still matters to you.

• Create new traditions. You might start a small ritual just for you—like a quiet morning walk, volunteering, traveling, enjoying certain community festivities, or watching your favorite movie. These personal touches can help the season feel more grounded and yours.

• Reach out for support. Spend time with people who feel safe, whether that’s friends, family, church community, or a therapist. You don’t have to go through this alone. Therapy for holiday stress or therapy for healing from divorce can help you navigate these emotions and find steadier footing. Its ok if you pop in for sessions focused on this, without continuing after the holidays.

  How Therapy Helps You Cope and Heal After Divorce

  As both a therapist and a divorced co-parent myself, I understand how layered this season can feel. In therapy, I serve as your guide, facilitator, and support—someone who helps you create a personalized plan to cope, find balance, and rediscover meaning in this new chapter. Together, we can explore what’s working, what’s not, and what kind of holiday experience you want to intentionally build for yourself (and your family).

  Ready to Create a More Peaceful Holiday Season?

  If you’re ready to feel more grounded and supported this holiday season, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Therapy can help you heal from divorce, manage holiday stress, and create space for peace and joy again—even in the midst of change.

Michelle Spurgeon is a licensed therapist supporting clients in Dallas, Texas, and virtual EMDR therapy in Texas, Florida, Louisiana, and Virginia. She specializes in relational trauma, anxiety, and divorce and uses evidence-based treatments like EMDR to help clients feel unstuck and steady again. Michelle provides EMDR Intensives for clients or therapists wanting extended session time to work towards relief. She is LCSW Supervisor in Texas helping LMSW professionals earn their clinical license. At Steady Healing, she is committed to providing compassionate, expert care both in-person in Dallas and online for clients across Texas, Florida, Louisiana, and Virginia.